i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just pee around me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
