i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
