U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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