Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Found your dick twin last night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
