Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
