I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
