I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
