You made me cry and you don't even care
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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