no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
