butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Farmville is her only friend.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
