O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
