im holly from the hills drunk
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
