I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
