So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
