im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
