dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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