Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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