tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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