Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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