Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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