we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I AM VODKA MAN
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How does one acquire holy water?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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