my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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