i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
