Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
