so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
