So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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