that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
