I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
