i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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