Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What drink are we having for lunch?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
