I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
