Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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