shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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