You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
