He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
