How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
