I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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