she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
