Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
