Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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