I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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