Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
