We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
