So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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