We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
