are you so shy because you have an std?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
