Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
