he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
