Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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