stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just had sex bonerless
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
