I'm drive I can fine osifer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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