At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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