There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
