Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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