I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
