Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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