i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
