she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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