I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
