So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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