i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
