Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
