There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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