If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am spending my child support on dildos
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
