The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
