the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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