He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
