I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize