Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
